This was the last drop.

I felt my heart being ripped from inside and torn apart to shreds and thousands and thousands of pieces.

The agonising feeling inflicted through watching this video made me realise once again that the Human race is still lost in themselves which is being proved by  their own doubt and actions. 

Our beautiful Earth with it's animals & plants is dying out of our ignorance.

  Sad.   

The "Human" with a heart and without a brain

                       The "Human" with a heart and without a brain

 Hey guys, it's been a long time since my last post and i bet you're wondering what kind of crazy shit is this guy going to right now, well get a comfy position, get some coffee or tea which is much better in my opinion and listen.

From my last post i didn't write anything since a lot in my life has been happening and it made me reflect upon my own actions and feelings. I've had a lot of Ups and Downs, wins and loss but most importantly i have gotten to the path were i have to choose between my heart or my brain, it may sound unbalanced and nuts but it's the truth. I came across someone who i may say changed me a little bit, that person pushed me towards hope and gave me power for a leap of faith. The surroundings in which we have met were of an extremely opulent feeling. After that ephemeral reunion, i came back home full of patience, confidence and rosy state. But why am i now saying that i have to choose between a heart and a brain ? Isn't that the question i should ask myself ? If  I'm having a state of loving, caring and warmth, shouldn't I feel ok ? 

 The problem is that lately I realised that if I'm going to continue to fly in the clouds and forget about the duties I have proclaimed myself to do i shall disappoint the one who filled me with enthusiasm and delight. 

    Recently i have received a very interesting comment from a new friend I've met in UK. His name is Mir (full name is Miroslav). In his comment he said that there is a beautiful and interesting analogy where one sees beautiful and interesting people as flowers. With his permission I am going to quote his sayings: " You enjoy looking at the flower, appreciate that it exists and that you are capable to emit such  beautiful emotions and feelings towards it, you also realise that if you pick this flower its going to die. So in a way you thank the flower for triggering beautiful feelings in yourself and you can be proud of keeping those feelings to yourself.".

  It is truly exquisite what he has said, but we have to keep in mind that those feelings that you can keep to yourself, are not always so beautiful because if the flower is going to be picked, eventually it is going to fade in it's beauty and die. You have to maintain the flower's life in order for it to become of a more beauty as it is and keep shining and bringing light into your soul and heart. That is why, what i am trying to tell is before you trigger something, think about it cause if you will follow your own interests, they are eventually going to fade "away".

3 life objectives

Here i am standing and thinking  about the events that life bring upon my path  for me to learn from and appreciate the things that it gives to me beautiful and simple....but the ones that are not close to me. There are people that life bring to me as a gift but every time i made the same mistake and loved  the persons that i didn't have too,  the ones i wanted to be close too but they preferred others, maybe that's how life's supposed to be or this is my destiny to love the ones that would make me suffer or maybe do not understand that hurt me. Your words sometimes ...hurt me...you make me dream but afterwards I wake up with my feet on the ground  telling me that i'm lying to myself even though i know the actual truth... i still go on lying to myself. I know that you would like me to be something fugacious (momentary/passing) in your life but for me you mean much more....You give me hopes sometimes, and it would be better for you to stop because i'm destroying myself!!! Reality becomes a dream.... instead for my dream to become reality i could not accept to know that you don't want me anymore. Life is is cynical from other views but for me the  beam of light that is still illuminating me the path to wisdom, love, hope and humanity is still full of possibilities and quests that will lead me to the unknown future of my own personality. There are 3 most important things in my life which are:
1. My parents & family
2. My friends and everyone i respect and appreciate their effort in helping and supporting me
and
3. Is the one i love

I may be talking about other topic than my blog actually is sometimes but i want people to know also what i feel and what i live for, thank you.)

Fight back!

Let me tell you something you already know. The World ain't  all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place and i don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you permanently if you let it. You and nobody is going to hit as hard as life, but it ain't about how hard you hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward,how much you can take and keep moving forward....That's how winning is done. Now if you know what you worth go out and get what you worth. But you got to be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers and say your not were you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you.

The Black&White God.

There was a man who was constantly suffering. He was too hot, then too cold. He had too much then too little, he wanted to scream from joy, then wanted to hide in the corner from angst. The stress was making his heart grow callous, his body deteriorate and his thoughts freeze in his head and when he stopped changing at all, Death came and took him away.
-Well, did you like living ? Death asked. 

-Yes and no. Life has sun and pleasure and love...but also cold and disappointment and pain. But more than that i couldn't find any meaning in it at all.
Death smirked.
-When you left the world of the living there was a meaning, but you lost it there. Well, I'll give you some advice on how to fix this. Talk to the Three Teachers and they'll help you remember it all.
After this words Death turned into a moth and darkness fell. the darkness was still and dense like a rock.
- It is so scary and cold! said the man. I'll never be able to find anyone in this sticky darkness...
--I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!
It was the first teacher- the Black God. He dwelled deep down and was darkness incarnate.
He said that Man's soul constantly radiates both happiness and suffering and so Man is really the prime cause of everything. But only when balance will reigns in a Man's soul,  freedom will rule his empire.
FREEDOM!!!
-I've been waiting for you...
It was the second Teacher-  the white God.
He dwelled high above and was light incarnate. He taught man that eternity is in the present and that the future and the past are only different forms of human memory. But only when Man wont live in the past and won't run into the future  his empire is going to be ruled by freedom.
-Why aren't you looking for the third Teacher ? asked Death.
then the man replied.
-I've been waiting for you. I wanted to tell you about the Black and White Gods. They were talking about the same things and yet about different things.
-So what were they talking about ?
-They were talking about me! I am the one who chooses between black and white. I choose between good and evil, between action and inaction. The world and I are united, and we both fill each other up.
when i bring beauty into this world it becomes magnificent. When i bring destruction, it becomes pitiless. That's the whole meaning now i remember!
-Well you found the third teacher. said Death. Your own self...now go and tell the people about it.
.....
The Black Gods speaks of the earth and those living upon it and inside of it. The White God speaks of the sky and those living overhead. The Black God helps us to be closer to our roots. The White God calls for us to get on the road. The Black God doesn't let us forget. The White God opens up the future. The Black God is inside you. The White God is around you. The Black God is Self. The White God is Self. The whole world is rocking, but in balance. There is no rest anywhere or in anything. Rest gets destroyed by time. Rest gets destroyed by the outside world. Rest is unstable. One who knows how to keep balance...now on the left, now on the right, now above, now below, now inside, now outside..is able to be over the world. This very Man is able to be the emperor of the Black God and the White God. Joy always turns into grief. Tears always turn into laughter. Tender thing become rough over time. Friendship turns into love. Love into habit. Habit into hatred . Hatred into solace. Solace into curiosity. Curiosity into friendship. The Black God turns into the White God. The White God turns into the Black God. When the Black God comes out into the light  then he becomes gray like everything else around. When the White God descends into the darkness, he becomes gray like everything else around. When the Black God looks at the White God and the White God looks at the Black God  everything takes on color. When the Black God and the White God become one, the self emerges. Consciousness is the White God. The body is the Black God. The Self is the Black God and White God. The Self is who remembers what has passed and thinks about what will happen. The Self is neither the past nor the future. The Self is right now. The whole world is eternal now. The Self is the center of this world. The Self is the center of its own reality.

It happened!!

The miracle happened, my dears and there's no turning back now.
you were waiting for the end of the world ?
TAKE IT AND SIGN IT!
The mechanism gave us the signs of life and began to move. In general bustle and chaos no one noticed that by the global brainwashing zombie-minds has now activated and began to work! New rules, new movements, new consciousness and new age! All of you who are able to thing already has start flashing up and yes I see, I see the significant sign of recovery. You started sending me really smart letters.
Funny masses actually weren't so funny at all. "THEY" know that and fear that because they have lost the chance, when each one, who burdened with intellect should banged in the head with a hoe! So the mind does not turn on ever again!
Let ask them for forgiveness, because we didn't meet their expectations and we didn't become this stupid-mass!!! Which is ready to go meekly to the slaughter with our tongues up our asses! Viral advertising has worked! ha-ha-ha ! "Get it on buy it!!"
My product is..: Revolution of Consciousness. And everyone who laughs now with these words, certainly knows that..I am right. I never wanted a revolution, in which human blood would be spilled. I never asked for slaughter, in which lead smears the brains on the walls. The revolution can only be a ...Revolution of Consciousness and only this.... Everything else is simply meat machine that turns the flesh into money.
I am proud of you.For you who didn't want to waste their lives on flashers, show-off and masturbation on Golden Taurus. all this is just a sugary sweet small house columns, in which there is nothing else than sticky walls and dirty hands.
The old world is dying with those people who aren't able to understand the new.

The Story about the Truth !

And of course....How can i get to your level ...I'm a simple virtual blogger, little man with a funny way of writing against you true existence. Your experience and your intellect, making you almost a God.
And all my thoughts i loudly express, apparently did not reach the knowledge of the strange mind of yours.

And my mumbling, you might say it much better and smarter but you ...don't need it .
You can easily set the expressions of your civil rights by pressing the "dislike" or with the grandiose comment of yours " So what? " and nobody will dare to criticize anything in your dialectical  reactivity , in this surely nobody will criticize you. Probably it is cool to be You.
[Story time]
Once lived a teacher.
He was so great that people didn't even understand what they could have learnt from him.
They say he was once very wealthy and respected businessman but by the time, he denied the nasty noise, having understood the real truth. And one day a very brave researcher came to him and says...
" Oh great teacher. I am disappointed by the world it is completely empty. Show me the truth"
Then the teacher said
"Ok, I'll give you the absolute knowledge, just be a friend, and bring me such a machine that will do...such a little thing....that you press buttons....so, you know? "
And the teacher whispered something to the researcher. He was very happy and ran to the stores to find the machine but nobody he was asking didn't ever heard about such a thing. He couldn't go back with empty hands so he traveled to another city after another but nobody had heard of such a machine.
After any years the researcher and now a business man with several factories which manufacture various mechanisms, returned there where for the first time he heard about this strange machine. With him he brought the whole mission, filled with intriguing technology. The researcher was pleased with himself.
He by himself invented and produced that, what once didn't existed. And know was worthy to recieve the knowledge of the truth. Right ? But the teachers house was empty  the researcher was late for the most important lesson in his life. Then he ordered to give all the machines to citizens and stayed at the home of the teacher. And soon he was visited by young researchers. And they asked him...
"Oh great teacher. What should we do to understand the essence of things? "
The teacher smile
" Ok, I'll tell you, but bring me...a little thing ....that makes..."
And whispered something to the researchers .
Well , you heard the story ?
So what ?. ...

Riddle riddle come and solve it! Use your Brain!

[Mr. X talking]
What are you looking at ?
You think i don't know who you are and why did you come to our "disco" ?
Or you have something that is unknown to us ? Of this yelling to make everybody free begins to spin our guts. Why did you come bothering us again ? Eh ? Before you there were many such guys
And if you, for the sake of freedom, will follow even hundreds of strong people...then what about the billions of others? Who will never peel off their asses from the chair for the sake of some abstract values.
But they also want to be happy or for you in your target audience they are no longer people ?
[Mr. Y]
...Freedom is the right of choice.
[Mr.X]
What are you mumbling there ?
At least you know what is the time you came ?
Freedom today is to change thousands of channels freely, download porn and just do anything without consequences. That's it. And the herd has complied with this. You cannot imagine how much have we put aside to get this issue. And now everyone is sure the man is not simply free but their freedom they must earn by working. And so they acquired the meaning of their lives. Look at them, they are happy. They want to work, make money...and most importantly...spending, be a waste of time! For their sins.
For them it is pleasure, to know that you can buy any excuse for shit! And we have a price...Price for any loathing.
[Mr.X shows Mr.Y a list]
[Mr. Y]
Hmmm...you have a price even for this....
[Mr.X]
Yes, yes...we have everything. Everything. One thing i cannot understand.Why are you here? All these yelling of yours, 25th frames, incognito...Prophetic confusion , riddles, alchemical  symbols ...After all we have tried everything, And we have found this recipe much earlier than you and it's miracle,  mystery and power and you just take advantage of these recipe, isn't it ?
[Mr.Y]
Me ?....

Our True GOD !

...Not Bad...
But i did not say that money is a bad thing, I respect every religion...as servile, as it is.
Oh..yes...you do not know ...Only calm down, stop splashing with your spinal cord.
MONEY IS GOD

You believe religion is Christianity, Buddhism and shamanism not...but certainly not...And you are not stupid...Unique, modern, innovative religion is ... MONEY!

And different currencies are as Catholic and Christian religions, Protestantism, Buddhism, Judaism.
Literally money is your God. We all believe in them, they are the source of everything and may occasionally perform miracles. And this God has his disciples sacred millionaires...Which you so enthusiastically are studying. Here also you do systematic rituals of divine society getting the envelope with the piece of the sacred body. and ask anyone, just for fun.." How much money you get? "
They gonna shit their pants as if you ask for confession. And what's the story with this banknotes ?
They are the holy icons. You are looking at them and for you they are not just papers and ink, no...For you those are the body of your god which arise in a sacred place, which can't access any common mortal.
And these sacred scraps of paper fall into the hands of people and then tired, wrinkled and dirty...Burn in the incinerator to be reborn again, like the phoenix to do their earth's path.
We are all touching them. Take out your wallet. Can you imagine the path each banknote have done ?..To get in your hands. Who was the first lucky man to crunch that and what were they doing or where were they going ? Bump, one with syphilis, a prostitute, a prime minister and you wiping with the same piece of paper.

People c'mon....wake up...Circulation of money has been used because they want you to give money your power. Since the value of money is being measured by your work then without it, money do not cost anything.The fact is that money is the result of working printing machine.  Anyone can print his own MONEY!
Only at the backstage not collective unconscious will be hiding..but PERSONALITY!
We've been split to govern . Yes, money is common for all but everyone has their own money.
Money cost a lot, people nothing..because you do not have value having prove that you can make god from any tale ...and you're...........

Let us imagine....

I invite you to play a game.
Let us not give a damn about your IQ for a minute and go to the depths of imagination.
Look closer. Assume there's some kind of time shift and suddenly you went thousands years back in time.
What you've got with you is only a flash drive with gigabytes of yields of future civilization.
Music, books, movies, photos and programs!
You're not some jackass anymore, but a mind bearer, the top of the civilization pyramid. You can get paid for what you know. Gluts of wealth from every world ruler. You are a phenomenon, demigod,  a path  to the true enlightenment. So, everyone's in the house awaiting the revelation from you, ready to gain knowledge, experience, the truth...whatever. thousands of eyes watching you.
The whole world is anticipating, standing still awaiting the light.
And now attention!
How do you get information from the flash drive, huh ?
You don't have that proper knowledge yourself. And the only evidence of existing future is the piece of plastic and metal.
You have nothing to say to the crowd. Any word of your without proof would sound like charlatanry and the best thing ahead of you is this case  is a gibbet. So my dear know-all , without usual service system every single one of you is nothing but brainless walking blabbermouth, do you get me ?
Yeeeah....of course, making free email accounts, downloading a report, SMS voting , installing a plug-in is a load of genius, necessary needed and useful skills.....that wouldn't damn save you from being hanged !!!
But let's think globally !
Which one of you knows a gunpowder formula ? Can you produce penicillin ?
Are you aware of making fuel from oil ?
What would you give to the people of the past at all ?
Come on, come on , turn your brain on my dear parasites. To get electricity, for example you only need  to take an orange or a potato with a golden cross and a silver spoon sticked into it. Those two contacts will induce 2 volts of electrical force. Do you know that, huh ? Of course i understand, that words wouldn't convince you. That's why I'm going to show you something more substantial. And accidentally i got a nanocrystal, pneumohydrogenium information core with petabytes of information, which will right now allow you instantly to...but I ...I guess not...Wait a second!!!! Does anyone have the descriptor of intrasystem figurative synthesis ?

Did you catch the ... Message ?

Yes, indeed. You are right. I really think that you are the one who got the message.

But why do i look at you like you're a piece of shit ?

Hmmmm...Nut do YOU look at people differently?

Relax, my friends. I understand everyone.

....Here's one who wanted to be a musician but instead grows office bedsore on his ass.

And she wanted to become an actress,  but fake orgasms are her only role and kitchen is the only stage of hers.  So, what is the result ?

One third of your life to sleep, one third to EAT , LOL & SHIT  and the rest for hating your beloved job.

You see, you could be something more. What happened to your dreams ?

Stay cool don't piss yourself, my dearest ones! We're all the same. Each one by himself is the human from the capital letter. But now there are already two of us and one is already a shit.

Each one looks at another eagerly looking for defects. 

(" HAHAHA! He still lives with his parents!")

("HAHAHA! She is pregnant and his getting married")

("HAHAHA! Look at him! His car is a piece of crap!" )

and

("She's got no tits. And LOOK! That mustache of hers!")

You hate and despair each over! And this mutual hate is the only thing making you the whole.

I am smart and they are all jerks.

I'm an honest man surrounded by swindlers .

I'm a genius the are cattle.

Queers around and I'm James Dean!

But if everybody stink, consider that it may be you who just craped pants ?!

Still surprised why your still being raped in this highly social manner by all this paranoid government, Television, asslickers....

Ok, how would you treat a herd of cattle where everyone thinks that there are only morons around ???

How in the world is it possible to make you see yourself in others, to make you finally say US instead of ME and THEM ?

You were told to feel unique, be different right ? So keep up, be original.

Win the deepest bedsore trophy in your department!

Get an Oscar for the best fake orgasm!

Fuck up your business partners and still their money!

Cut each others throats while arguing about the one who comprehend me better !

Well, did your Collective conscious get the message ? Or you are still the chosen one ?

"Fear Freedom"....

Yes, I know, i know...The worst crime is to call people to independence and freedom...a straight way to chaos and mutual destruction .  I...I just didn't know  what was i doing, but now  i understand.
If..if you let me, I will tell them right now!
DID YOU!?
Did you really think that my mission was to awaken your self-dependence ?
Are you totally dumb ??!?
Mass's destiny is to be obedient, nourish illusions and fears.
When misused freedom will tear you up!
Fear of freedom! Fear!....
(Have i told all this right boss ? huh?)
And now what i really think about it. The thing is, that there is a small but very important stuff in life.

One day, kids grow up. They grow a bit taller, a bit more free, more educated than their fathers, do you get me?
They no more want to stand in endless lines, run for beer  and take the untakeable rubbish out.
They want something more! But fathers answer to their freedom-loving "I"
that the opinion of the 9th alphabet letter doesn't concern them .
The idea is simple, the system controls you while you are alike, but if everyone starts to think against patterns, the system will not have enough hands or methods or rules to thoroughly spank all of them!
You are torn between the romance  of confrontation and the desire to adopt and survive.
But Note! The highest and elusive  riot is  just to be able to remain.....yourself and bear your "I" proudly like a banner. And this is not the matter of  self-significance feeling. 

"One can remain great when being small"
Yes, yes, exactly! From simple to difficult! For a start, everywhere where it's possible, write "I" with a capital. In documents, letters, blogs or articles. Everywhere. It is so easy, but soon you will make sure how it is complicated.
...
"For all others i repeat: Fear of freedom! It is capable to destr.....

The Wasted Moments: Such a waste..

The Wasted Moments: Such a waste..: So here I am, wasting my time, wasting the moment.. again.  I remember myself doing the same mistake a couple of years ago. Although in that...

 A post written by my best friend, please bare with him and let us all unite and make our lives better. 

I am real, how about you ?

.....You've already heaped all your fears and doubts
to let me hell them into fire!
and here i am in the center of fucking Coliseum with a torch and a jerry-can in my arms.
A crowd of human beings in front of me ....naked, huddling up to the wall.
I'm in the thick of action. I am the action.
I've created myself and I've placed everything under my will.
Got it ? Strange.

I live the real life, thinking and entirely free of stereotypes.
My world has no limits, only opportunities .
No daily show of humdrum TV clones, no slogans imposed by government, TV and your beloved internet.
Here am i. 

You are starring at your computer screen...but are you really there, beyond the monitor ?
 HELLO !?
Can you prove it ?
So....I am the only one who is real...I always have something to say but what about you ?
"Two beers and Chips" ? ...Pfff what a junk or
"Honey, i need to go to the restroom"
and hide yourself there sending SMS to your lay or pardon....jacking off ?
Your life is a pack of lies and bullshitting, bogging down in porn, internet addiction  and mobile cell slavery.
Have you ever done anything out of common run ?
NEVER!
You haven't got the guts to do it! And you never will.
You know why ? Cause it's out of your comfort zone. You are wrapped in it as in reinforced polypropylene package . You are cannon fodders squeezed by your everyday life and work.
No? Am i wrong ?

Correct me, then.  You for instance...can you give out your mobile phone  to a first comer ?
Or format your hard disk right away ?

Scared shitless ? Right ? Any guesses why ?
Because for you it's like suicide , you don't exist out of it.
Have you even taken a single decision on your own ? 

Without waiting for somebody to say " Just Do it ? "
So here is the finding...I am real and you are just somebodies freaking fantasy.
And you'll have to make lots of efforts  to prove the contrary to yourself, to get the right to call yourself alive.
And above all it's not a game. It's ..........

I understand that i may be asking to much but please follow my blog and comment as much as you can for future evolving. If you also have a blog i would be delighted to read it too.No one is perfect i'm just like you and if you will help me you will erase my mistakes too. 
        Thank You and Love you

Power is not freedom

YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT 
SERIOUSLY !!

Hello everyone , me again. It's 1:56 just finished watching the movie from right above and it drove my mind crazy, i'm still thinking about how people can be like that,  the ignorance in everything that is surrounding us.

Greed is poisoning our hearts ans souls and we don't even pay attention to that . Humans are not made to be like that, we should live in peace and happiness and love is what should unite all of us not money or  crime or stupid and fucking clubs that just gather us like cattle and use us for their own sake.
People have been used...YES used since all along, us feeling free doesn't mean we are.
We are always told that there is nothing to be afraid of and that everything is going to be safe .
Lies are spilled all over us but we swim in them not fearing that we are already drowning in the depths of despair and hate. We will only start feeling ourselves free when the rules of the society that is also playing it's role in a performance named " REAL LIFE" and has it's concern in only making us the same and taking away out creativity our justice and our point of view . PEOPLE wake up can't we all see we are living within a world with our eyes closed ?
One more thing is power that changes us and makes us forget who we were .
Power is not for being used against our brothers and sisters is for being used to let our souls free from the chains that are strangling us and not letting us go, not letting us open the door to the endless possibilities that we are hold from and that are stolen and closed somewhere far away a place named governments and something more worse that could be poverty, violence against children and women , violation and many more. Where are all this things coming from ? Who is the truly master of your life ? Who is the puppet master holding the strings stretched ? At least i know one  thing that we , you hold the power to free yourself, to say no ti the system , fuck it it's not for you it's not for anyone.  Show yourself who you are , where is the "I" in your words. WE DO NOT NEED THE KIND OF FREEDOM THAT WE ARE OFFERED.

What stops you creating your own freedom ? try forgetting about everything for a couple of minutes.
A think about a decent world were we could all live happily and were people would live along each others joy, delight or pleasure name it as you want. Were problems would be a far away history .
We all need a Revolution Of Consciousness .
Don't forget the main thing that Power is the one thing that changes us and for today's advice or better said quote we are going to have this one "  When the power of love is going to overcome the love of power true peace is going to come" 

Hey everyone :D
how are you all ? I'm in a great mood and also feel crazy so i wanted to share my mood with all of you.
You know what , my advice for now is go take
a glass of milk or tea or whatever you want, some chocolate chip cookies ( Better the ones made by yourself they taste better , oh yeah forgot to tell you that i'm a cook too ) afterwards go sit in a couch leave the PC for some time alone he is already sick of all your  hits over the keyboard. Then take the headphones and listen at least once to your favorite song ( Remember it should me a good mood song not a sad one ) then try calling your best friend and try making him do the same thing. Now look what we would have done if it all started as a chain.

This mood is going to be shared with all of you...all of us.
Try calling the girl or boy you love ( It depends if you are a girl or a boy :D )
Tell them how much you miss'em and that you would want them to be right here with you right now.
Go to your parents and tell them how much do you love them even if you as me quarrel a lot with them , that doesn't mean they hate you.
Ok now back to the topic ...what i am trying to say to you today is that do never forget the ones you love and never tell them you don't have time cause there is nothing more important than your family , friends and Cookies
And the People said " WE LOVE COOKIES"

Fight for your happiness

Is there any chance you could see me too ?

Here back again , it's 1:30 am .
I'm still a sleepy bastard , i had to do a lot of homework and for my amazement i really had it done this time .
But it's not finished all yet , i have some more work to do that will be lasting somewhere until 

3 am , but let's get to the topic i really wanted to talk about in today's post .
Usually i had a lot of puzzled pieces of ideas in my mind which i only had to put in the right order and in the right place to start writing...well , today is not the same .
I've been feeling the urge to write for some weeks now but had no idea what i should have started writing about . I kept thinking and thinking and ...it was all gone ....it left no trace of itself , the once in my life meanings, my best friends , my family ....i felt like they were all gone , like i was the only one walking on the shallow roads of this small country in a big universe full of perspective and opportunities. But the only problem was that why should we need all those opportunities when we don't even have someone to share them with ?
What is the meaning if working hard when no one is appreciating it ?
Or is it only happening to the ones that think in that way ?
Are we really alone in this whole white world ?
I don't think so ......
Boom
I woke up
Shook my head from a enormous headache and then i realized, i'm inside my own wall of despair , loneliness and hatred .
The wall that has been growing for all those years and me not even noticing it.
After a while the wall was painted with a layer of colors that transformed into a image of a perfect world but in the same time a hollow one .
The time was ticking, something had to be done , the wall needed to fall.
Why not take the biggest hammer ever possible , strain a little bit your muscles and say " I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE IN YOUR BOUNDARIES " and hit the wall with all you've got so that then you could see from a shallow crack the rays of hope and freedom and feel the warmth of being with someone .
My advice for everyone today is that no matter how painful it could be , no matter through how much suffering you passed there is hope no matter what or who or when .
"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for "
Bob Marley ©

Give it a Bun Dem ☮

A soldier on my own, I don't know the way

Deep in the ocean, dead and cast away

Where innocence is burning in flames

A million mile from home, I'm walking ahead

I'm frozen to the bones, I am...

A soldier on my own, I don't know the way

I'm riding up the heights of shame

I'm waiting for the call, the hand on the chest

I'm ready for the fight, and fate

The sound of iron shocks is stuck in my head, 

The thunder of the drums dictates

The rhythm of the falls, the number of deaths

The rising of the horns, ahead

From the dawn of time to the end of days

I will have to run, away

I want to feel the pain and the bitter taste

Of the blood on my lips, again

The steady burst of snow is burning my hands, 

I'm frozen to the bones, I am

A million mile from home, I'm walking away

I can't remïnd your eyes, your face

Myself right now , "Weirdie Guy "

I know i know , maybe you don't like my font cause it's too big or something else but it's how i feel right now and besides all the politic shit i have been writing these past years i had now the idea to write something about myself . You see , I've been through a lot the last 2012 year , many things have changed not only around me but inside me as well . From a simple romantic deep shit guy who believed in peace and true love i became a person that already is seeing things the other way. Now my soul is enchanted with a dark spell , a great wall that has been rising around me for about half a year .  I become a little bit more cold heart'ed but I'm still trying to be the same thankful guy who was always smiling even if inside my soul was crying .
You know how they say " The one who always smiles is the one that always cries inside" . I'm at least very thankful that i have great but not so many friends , that are always going to help me and be always beside me ( ok not always cause i love taking a shower by myself orrrr maybe with my future girlfriend :3 ) .
The 2013 year started nicely  , i met some new people , and im talking to them everyday , and were like having fun ( i think so :D ) .  I haven't yet got depressed only a lil bit right now but int's not so much of a problem . I got to think about it now just because there was an anonymous person that had written me a lot of things that he feels like knowing but in the reality he doesn't know shit about me.... And the sad thing is that I'm not sad on the person but on his thought cause i think a deserve much more for being the guy i am right now. Well it was something i had to write to get released by all this hatred and reveal once again my bright side )
 I really have to fall in love , or maybe i am already but i don't wanna disturb the friendly bond that is between us right now , maybe later it depends on how i will feel and how the persons i like so much will negotiate with my feelings but if everything will be according my thought well i think it will be a long lasting relationship and a very happy one cause i like tea ( that was something useless to write right now ...oh well i had to cause I'm a weirdie too :D . I think at least one person will read this post and not try to critic me but instead i would like him or you who are reading now to understand the things im writing now and feel himself in my skin .. uhh not so pleasent but well xD.  I am very thankful once again to all of you and i hope my dreams will come true soon cause one has already became true and i have another one right now ;)

I can't explain you that moment when you have been doing a thing for almost like 14 years and you have got great success in it . Became country champion , European Champion twice and then at last WORLD Champ.
Yep , i'm talking about me , I've been through a lot  to get there but now it feels so wrong....Like it's not me who did it , all my life and childhood i loved art ...loved something beautiful but now all i'm doing id just some daily routine as when your waking up on Mondays....something like that. 

Our world is a hard place to live in ....We think everything is OK but there's a lot of blood shed everywhere , corruption , greed & slavery.
It's so hard to keep something you've worked so hard on living in your soul and it's so easy killing it just by saying " I Quit".
I don't know if i'm even doing it right...i don't want to quit but i still don't want to continue it without a change .Sorry for borrowing 5 minutes of your precious lifetime just for listening me...but it helps).